What up, y’all! It’s been a minute. Lots of newness on this end. I’ve missed you. I’ve just been working on a whole lot of projects lately and, you know, have just been busy keepin’ it real and holding it down — doing my tabby best to change the world and pave the way for the next generation of tail kicking tabbies and superstar kitty supermodels.
I hope all has been well on your end of the cat tower.
Speaking of that, I need a new one. A new cat tower. Got any recs?
Hey, y’all! How’s it going this weekend? Whatcha up to? I just had a great, great workout. I’ve been trying to build some extra muscle mass in prep for a guest appearance on Ballers with the Rock this fall, so I’ve been doing a lot of dumbbell work lately with my personal trainer’s help, and also some yoga, of course, to stay flexible.
I have the weekend off from kitty modeling, so I’m just working on my fitness and relaxing, watching some tabby TV and doing a bit of agility training, too, on my at-home obstacle course.
What up, y’all? How’s it purring? If you’re looking for a cat toy with which to entertain your favorite feline, might I suggest this battery-powered squeaky squirrel?
THIS THING TOTALLY ROCKS!
I love it sooo much. It’s my favorite toy of all time. I like it even MORE than kitty toy lasers because it’s totally automatic. I don’t have to recruit my assistant to help me operate it, like I have to do with my laser.
All I do is swat, tap or bite it, and it squeaks. Just like a squirrel. Only it doesn’t sound anything like a squirrel, but I don’t care. It squeaks, and that’s enough.
I also love my pink stick feather, but again, it requires my assistant’s help, and sometimes I just wanna do my own thang, ya know?
So yesterday I had my annual checkup at the offices of my personal physician (no worries, everything checked out fine), but I was a little out of sorts after the whole ordeal, as you can probably imagine. There was this one part in the exam involving a thermometer that — well, let’s just say that I hope to never experience anything like that again…
Anyway, I was a little stressed after my driver brought us home, so I thought I’d have a relaxing picnic.
Today Tabs the Cat Industries LLC is proud to announce the unveiling of our new fitness center, located on the top floor of the Novato Tabby Command Center.
With facilities primarily for cat scratching and lounging, it is the first outdoor enclosed feline fitness center in the greater Novato area.
Memberships are available now, but not all applicants will be accepted. Space is limited. Please inquire within the comments section, and include your answer to the following question: Why are you worthy of exercising alongside world-renowned plus-size kitty supermodel Tabs?
My assistant was in one of her talkative moods this morning, prattling on about… You know, I can’t remember. I don’t even know what she’s going on about half the time.
Anywho, I had somewhere to be, of course, so I tried to politely extricate myself from the convo by pawing at my leash and gesturing toward the door, but she wouldn’t get the hint. Eventually, I started to mewl, and that woke her up. Honestly, I don’t even know why I pay that woman.
So, Friday. Awesome, right? I’m really looking forward to this weekend because I don’t have any kitty modeling jobs lined up, so I can do whatever my tabby heart desires, and it desires fun.
I’m thinking about starting by clawing Mom’s favorite chair, and then who knows? Maybe I’ll rattle the cupboards just to get on her nerves.
The human who attended to my needs this morning annoyed me. She kept tugging on my leash when I wanted to investigate different areas of the property. I’ll have to reprimand her for that in her upcoming review.
There is a great deal of activity in the neighborhood today. I hear the loud machine that takes away the wonderful-smelling stinky treats in the large disposal units outside. It screeches, and it bothers me.
‘Tsup, y’all? Tabs here with a quick update. I hired a couple of interns this week to help me with some projects — you know how it is, always chasing the dream.
The first one is my big annual Summer Soirée, and yes, you’re invited!
Anywho, it’s next month, and we’ve got to get the food sitch right. I don’t know about you, but I’m a picky eater. We’re gonna need about a thousand cans of gravy by my estimates, so we need to get those orders in to Petco ASAP.
Other than that, I’m just doin’ my thang, you know, keepin’ it real and rockin’ the runway. It’s what I do.
Oh! — I almost forgot. We’re also upgrading my Tabby Command Center. Yeah, I’m getting one of the interns to install a feed trough/buffet, so that’ll be cool.
I hope spring’s been treating you well. I’ll connect again soon.